Category — Wedding Advertisements

I spend all day on the Internet. I work for a Web site, and I’m addicted to Facebook, Google Talk and any number of other time-suckage devices, so you could call me a Web junkie (better than “Web crack whore,” I suppose). And let me tell you, the Internet is really excited that I’m getting married. It tells me so all the time! It gives me recommendations on what wedding stationary to use, where to go on my honeymoon and even how to lose those pesky extra pounds (which I apparently have put on, according to the Internet).

Facebook is the worst– constantly bombarding me with annoying ads about “revolutionary” diets and “romantic” photography packages (side note: if I see another soft-focus shot, I’m gonna hurt someone).

And I don’t even know what to say about this one:

But it’s not just Facebook; my buddy Google has done me wrong, too, scouring my e-mails for wedding keywords and harassing me within my own e-mail. Gmail is supposed to be my happy place!

I’d just like to note that the words “baby registry” keep coming up, and I don’t know why. Nowhere in my e-mails do I use the words “shotgun” or “pitter-patter of little feet.” There are some things we don’t joke about, Google. I can always change my relationship status to “It’s Complicated” on Facebook (though then I might get break-up self-help books), but I have no idea what to do about the all-knowing Google besides writing my e-mails in code. Any ideas?