Category — Wedding Planning

There’s a lot of goodness and happiness going on right now in my world. Brian and I are in the same place! And not just via Skype! He is officially back from his tour in Iraq, we are both in San Diego and life is glorious. We are that obnoxious couple kissing and holding hands and playing footsie in public, and I don’t even care. I’m gonna wade around in that lovey dovey schmoopiness as much as I want. We earned it!

Look! He’s real!

We’re madly trying to get wedding stuff done in the next few weeks, but for some reason, I’m feeling much more calm now. So we still need to finalize our contract with the DJ? We need to send out invitations next week and we’re still going back and forth with the printer? Meh. So what? Have another glass of wine. I have plenty to write about right now, but it’s going to have to wait.

In the meantime, this is a conversation I had with Kathleen last night. I was trying to figure out how to word the invitation card for the rehearsal dinner, and this is the crap Google came up with:

Tyler popped the question
and April said “Yes”
All the planning is over
from the hall to the dress.
Only one thing remains
for this day to be great
“Practice makes Perfect”
September 25th is the date.
We’ll practice the ceremony,
and iron out the kinks
Then it’s off to the Peachtree Cafe
for some dinner and drinks!

6:23:25 PM Kathleen: oh my goodness
6:23:40 PM Kathleen: sooo that website is amazing
6:23:49 PM Kathleen: i even found one we can use for you
6:23:50 PM Kathleen: A sprinkle of flowers and a
couple of kisses,
Soon Brian and Gillie will be
Mr. and Mrs.
But as we wait for that special hour,
Let’s honor Gillie with a surprise Bridal Shower!
on some date in January
at some really great place in New Orleans!
6:24:02 PM Kathleen: haha
6:24:16 PM Gillian: ahahahaha
6:24:21 PM Gillian: i just threw up a little in my mouth
6:24:30 PM Kathleen: as did i, i can’t believe i let myself send that
6:24:40 PM Gillian: you should be ashamed of yourself
6:24:42 PM Kathleen: hehehe
6:24:46 PM Kathleen: no regrets
6:25:03 PM Gillian: super gross, i tell you. these people are on crack
6:25:19 PM Kathleen: must be good crack if they think those invites are worth sending out
6:25:59 PM Gillian: for reals. if i ever think it’s a good idea to send out rhyming anything, please smack me
6:26:48 PM Kathleen: i think you have a several good friends who will more than happy to smack you
6:26:57 PM Kathleen: for rhyming invites or using the wrong font
6:26:59 PM Kathleen: oh dear
6:27:28 PM Gillian: i think ide and darren would fight for that honor… or both if i rhymed and used papyrus
6:27:36 PM Gillian: actually, then brian would cancel the whole thing
6:27:52 PM Kathleen: yeah, you’d be totally ditched
6:28:04 PM Kathleen: so just keep those thoughts out of your head
6:28:12 PM Gillian: conditional love. i see how it is.
6:28:16 PM Kathleen: haha
6:28:38 PM Kathleen: well, you know my love is unconditional… i’d just smack you to make sure brian stuck around

Ah, good times. We’re spending the weekend going registry shopping (translation: me hula hooping in the aisles of Target and Brian caressing a Set it and Forget it Rotisserie), doing that “make your own ring” workshop and maybe a little pre-cana partying. We might just block off a night, get take-out and a few bottles of wine and knock out all nine lessons. I think live blogging that would be awesome. Too much? Inappropriate? Or just hilarious?

That’s it. We’re getting married on the front porch (Chuck has already graciously offered to get one of those online certificates so he can perform the ceremony) and having the reception at Ms. Mae’s. We’ll even offer to pick up the tab for everyone’s $1 drinks. I can’t see any other way this is gonna work.

Both Ide and Melia have blogged recently about feeling crazy and overwhelmed, and I’d like to join that party… especially if that party has wine. I realized today that we’re getting married in four months. Four freaking months! Lately, I’ve been working until the wee hours of the morning and drinking coffee like it’s going out of style. I don’t really have the energy to feed myself (thank you, Reginelli’s delivery man)

or unpack my evacuation suitcase, let alone research florists or learn about sin in our pre-cana class.

So instead, I make to-do lists. Lots and lots of to-do lists. I have Google docs, Excel spreadsheets, ta-da lists, scraps of paper stuffed in my purse. I’m the crazy cat lady of to-do lists.

Just a few items:

• Find a damn printer by next week
• Reserve the Yat cake lady we love so much
• Register for the “set it and forget it.” And maybe a few other things.
• Research remaining vendors: DJ, florist, transportation, people to make us prettier than we already are
• Write “our story” for the Web site in a non-gross way
• Get an extension on pre-cana class (play the deployment card)
• Call Archdiocese re: importing a priest from out of state
• Go swimming enough to make up for my week in Jackson and Chicago (read: spending time with my favorite bad influences)
• Watch late-night TNT while making more to-do lists I won’t complete

I make Sarah Palin look sane. Actually, now that I think about it, all this organizational experience might qualify me for vice president.

Just to be clear, I was never the girl who had her entire wedding planned out before hitting puberty. I didn’t dress up as a bride for Halloween. I had no idea why a princess-cut diamond was superior to any other or why I should care. I never held weddings for my Barbie dolls (though I did try to create Mattel’s first transgender couple by switching Ken and Barbie’s heads…. Note: Barbie’s head does not fit on Ken’s football-player neck without help from duct tape).

Fast-forward a few years… I’m 24, engaged and still totally confused as to how this whole “wedding” thing works. I mean, I’m a pretty darn good party planner, but that usually just involves making sure someone has a keg tap and cutting up a thrift-store skirt for my pirate costume. This is different. Flower arrangements, guest lists, catering contracts. Apparently, I missed this class while I was getting my MRS degree. I equate theknot.com with the seventh circle of hell, so it’s hard to find wedding resources that are not intended for “That Girl” (read: that don’t make me physically ill).

Brian and I are now navigating the strange and expensive waters of wedding planning, trying to figure out how to throw an amazing party on our terms and on our budget. I just about had a heart attack when I read the average cost of a wedding in the U.S. is close to $30,000. I checked out this site where you can calculate the average cost by zip code, and it’s $24,480 in New Orleans, where we’re getting married. That’s close to a year of grad school, people! We’re going to try to do it for $15-17,000, which still seems like an insane amount of money when we’re trying to pay for a lot of it ourselves (hence the name “No Dowry”).

The big day is in January 2009, so for the next nine months, I’ll be sharing the pearls of wisdom I pick up as I figure out how to plan a wedding without selling my soul to Modern Bride or selling any organs on the black market.

Creative Commons image courtesy of sparktography’s Flickr page