Pre-Cana: Lesson 1 Follow-up

I don’t want to get into this too much because it will just make me more enraged, but I feel compelled to share some of the answers we got to our first pre-cana lesson. Our instructors, a married couple who I’m sure have the best intentions… just not a firm grasp on reality, sent us a 16-page, single-spaced Word document filled with exclamation points and some of the most sexist statements I’ve read in awhile. It’s like reading “Men are from Mars, Women are from Whore Island.”

Sounds more fun…

I don’t quite understand. I know lots of Catholics who are open-minded and well-educated and who don’t blame women for original sin and the fall of man. I also know several Catholic couples who had perfectly lovely experiences in their pre-cana classes (though Nicole said her class was great, but the priest told them the man should make all the decisions… because that’s how God intended it). I feel like I’m taking crazy pills.

I’ll just share a few excerpts:

• Usually, men are more down to earth, more grounded than women. They are active and they like to build things, they are a lot in the “doing!

• In the Jewish tradition it is the very important duty of the father to name his children and a very meaningful one: by giving the name, the father grants permission to live and gives the identity. This is the meaning of Paternity.

• The ribs protect the heart, and also the lungs… What was in Adam’s lungs? God’s breath of life, his Holy Spirit… Maybe that’s why women are more naturally religious than men?

• She is also given maternity; she’s the one who will bear life in her womb. Woman in Hebrew is nekeva which means hollow, receptacle, to create an inside space. Woman’s body is made to receive. Woman is consecrated to life. It is an incredible mission if we think about it and wonderful too!

• Woman’s ability to receive relates her naturally to the spiritual world. She is more inclined to the things of the heart, that is to love. These two characteristics make her closer to God, who is Love and giver of life.

• God entrusts man to the woman. Man is a lot into his doing and has a tendency to forget God! He thinks he can manage everything by his own strength! So God gives the woman to the man to remind him of the spiritual.

• She is to be the guardian of the spiritual. She can also be called the Guardian of Purity.

• She added that they were not even allowed to touch it [the forbidden fruit]!  God never said that! She grabbed the bait! It made God sound even more severe! She enters in the devil’s game! He insinuated doubt in her. She totally gave in, meaning that she entered into temptation! Note that the devil doesn’t talk to Adam. Adam had been entrusted with the authority.

• Let’s also look at this scenario closer! First, she finds the fruit attractive. She is seduced — the pleasure of her senses and the desire for glory and power! This means that she chooses to eat the fruit to please herself without considering the long term repercussions of her actions. She wants to decide for herself what is good and what is bad.

• This is original sin: we want everything, right away, not accepting to depend on God… We want to decide for ourselves what is good or bad without trusting that God will provide at the right time. We make ourselves our own gods.

• She was to be a suitable partner to Adam, yet she made a decision on her own, not even respecting their partnership. She didn’t consult Adam. How often do we see couples where we can say that the wife “wears the pants?” As the guardian of the spiritual, Eve was supposed to remind man of God, to lead man to God and instead she led him away from God…She was also consecrated to life and led all humanity to death.

• The devil was called Lucifer before his fall, and he was the chief of all the archangels. Lucifer means the light bearer, and he was probably an extraordinarily beautiful angel. It’s easier to imagine Eve talking to the most beautiful of angels and being seduced.

• They are not equal partners anymore… The communion man and woman experienced together before sin is broken. “Your urge shall be for your husband.”  Woman will become very possessive in her love for her husband.  He will take advantage of this urge the woman has to be loved and protected, and he shall be your master, meaning that the man will distort the authority that was given to him as a service into a power over the woman and he will lose his respect for her. He will use the woman for himself instead of loving her. He will lust instead of love. Their partnership is destroyed because of sin.

Jeez, woman! Way to screw everything up. I have a sudden fruit craving; maybe I’ll go eat an apple and destroy free will.