Pre-Cana: Contraception
I have been Catholic long enough to realize there are just some things the Church and I will never see eye to eye on. Women’s role in the Church/the family/pretty much anything, homosexuality and contraception are at the top of the list. I sometimes like to visualize the Catholic Church as a very old, slightly senile distant relative who goes on and on about how things were back in his day and who sometimes makes inappropriate comments about “broads” and “Orientals” getting too uppity. He means well, but we can agree to disagree, and I try to let some things slide because of his age.
Apparently, this method does not fly with our pre-cana instructors. The last three lessons have strongly focused on why using contraception is a sin against God and why we must not follow our own consciences on the matter because they are only properly informed when dictated by the teachings of the Church.
You can follow along with two of the articles we had to read: “Humanae Vitae and Conscience” and “Contraception: Why Not” (not “Contraception: Why Not?” as Jules thought it was), both written by Professor Janet Smith, whose condescending writing style and lack of factual evidence make me want to go against my “WWJD” policy.
The article cover page (I can’t make this up) is the only thing that got me through these lessons.
The gist of the first article is how ridiculous it is that Catholics think they are smarter than the Church and how no one can opt out of the Church’s teachings on contraception. The second is a rambling account of how the Pill destroys morality, increases unwanted pregnancies, abortions and divorces and is generally responsible for all evil in the world.
Sorry, guys. I’m not gonna play. I do not accept that it is wrong to plan when you are ready and willing to have children. If you choose to do that with Natural Family Planning (NFP), more power to you. If you choose to use some form of contraception, great. Having kids is a major life change, not to mention a pretty significant financial commitment, so I am all for people being responsible and not procreating until they’re good and ready.
What makes me most angry about these “lessons” on contraception is that they aren’t intended to spark debate or discussion. They are simply a lecture on why Church doctrine will always outweigh our personal beliefs. Case closed. There were very few essay questions or opportunities to ask questions or express an opinion, just a series of leading multiple choice questions. I started answering them the way I wanted to, then deleting some of my responses and writing slightly more diplomatic answers.
Then there were the questions I had to give answers I knew were “wrong.”
Yes, the Pill is the reason more couples divorce. If a couple is struggling with a difficult marriage, you know what would be a good fix? More kids.
It’s just insane to blame more unwanted pregnancies on one sole factor in the last 40 years. Plus, if the unwanted pregnancy rate has gone up since the 1960s when women started using birth control, can you imagine what it would be without the Pill?
I’m sorry, but that’s just not accurate. As one friend who used to work for an OB/GYN said, “We used to have a nickname for women who used Natural Family Planning. We called them ‘Mommy.'” NFP has a few different methods, but it involves recording different bodily factors (such as basal body temperature and cervical mucus changes) to determine when a woman is ovulating.
Most sources I found (like the one sponsored by the National Institute of Health) cite the statistic that 15 to 20 women out of 100 get pregnant each year using NFP. The Pill results in 2 to 3 pregnancies out of 100 when no pills are missed. The “withdrawl” method, by contrast, gets about 7 to 22 women out of 100 pregnant every year. I can’t get excited about a 15 to 20 percent failure rate, though measuring my cervical mucus does sound fun.
And then there’s that. I might have laughed at the Hall and Oates reference if it weren’t misspelled and if I weren’t too busy throwing up in my mouth.
So, what do y’all think, particularly those of you who are Catholic? Do you agree with the Church or do you think we should be able to follow our consciences?
8 comments
sweet baby god lord Jesus in heaven, I hope I don’t fall in love with someone whose family is hardcore Catholic. Molasses? Hall and …Oats? Pleasure food? Donkeyfucking?
I’m going to keep these lessons in mind next time I have a relationship problem. I’LL JUST GET KNOCKED UP AND IT’LL SOLVE EVERYTHING!
k I’m done.
Reading this stuff made me seethe. This is the most morally irresponsible text I have ever seen. Yes, please, bully people into having children before they can responsibly do so by telling them that their marriages will fail and they will go to hell if they use contraception.
The major problem I have with this particular lesson (besides the flawed logic that all of the questions are based on) is that it doesn’t take the physical and mental health of the parents or the children into account, and it’s enforced by an army of chaste people who will never know the struggles and heartache that can accompany marriage and parenthood. It makes me sick that the Catholic Church is still pushing this on young families everywhere. It would make me even angrier if people actually took this doctrine to heart, but luckily the vast majority of Catholics are sensible when it comes to this particular teaching.
I am all for people choosing not to use contraception and welcoming all the children they can conceive into their families, as long as they are doing it for the correct reasons. I understand that many people have deep-seated beliefs about contraception but religious bullying is not, in my opinion, a correct reason. Parenthood is such a beautiful thing for a couple to enter into that I really hate seeing it cast in this antagonistic light.
So, I’m Catholic, yes. But I have a hard time answering these “simple” questions when they obviously are trying to insinuate that my car won’t run on molasses. It’s all so frustrating.
And Ide, though I will agree with you that the majority of Catholics are smart enough to form their own opinion on this matter, I hate to break it to you, but I know far too many people who believe we are all going to burn for disagreeing on this issue.
Oh and Gill… I think it’s kind of perfect that you post this today as the Word of the Day for Monday, January 5, 2009 is…
abstinent \AB-stuh-nuhnt\, adjective:
abstaining, especially from self-indulgence
This sort of bull is the exact reason I left the Catholic church and will never go back. More power to you for being able to agree to disagree – I’m not patient enough for that. My blood is boiling just reading this crap they drill into people.
One more thing. In response to Ide’s comment…I actually have an aunt and uncle who refuse to use contraception because of Catholic teaching. They have SEVEN children. Seven oblivious, sheltered, home schooled, ill-prepared-for-real-life-in-the-21st-century children. The only TV they were allowed to watch was Animal Planet, which was shut off because it shows animals copulating. Their oldest (20 years old) moved back home from college because she was too overwhelmed and is now marrying her high school boyfriend (the only boyfriend she’s ever had) because she has no idea what else could possibly be out there for her. Thanks, Catholicism.
Haha, I’m still laughing that “abstinent” is the word of the day. How appropriate.
I know, I get really upset and disheartened when I read stuff like this (and this is only the tip of the iceberg… I might have to do a follow-up post) and realize the Church is probably not going to change its stance in my lifetime.
Ide, I totally agree that people should want to be parents for the right reasons, not because of shame and guilt. It’s wrong to force people into having children when they don’t want them by portraying contraception as a tool of the devil. How is that good for parents or children?
as long as a kid has two non-gay, married, teenage parents, I don’t see what’s wrong.
As with all Church teachings that go against simple common sense, my question is, “What exactly are they afraid of?” Perhaps that if people “contracept” (love that verb), they will…
a. decimate the army of tithing Catholics who beget more tithing Catholics.
b. prevent God from incarnating the next Einstein or Curie. Or the next Carrot Top.
c. begin to think that they have a mind of their own.
Face it, Catholic Church, contraception dates back to ancient times, and it ain’t going away any time soon.