There’s Never Any Time!

I’ve got plenty to write about at the moment, but with the holidays and only 15 days until our wedding (the ewedding.com site tells me tauntingly every time I sign in), blogging just sounds like another item on my frightening to-do list. I’m so Jessie Spano on caffeine pills: There’s no time! There’s never any time!

I’m not the crazy Bridezilla sobbing in the corner because she can’t get the caterers to fold the napkins into tiny origami swans. I’m the burnt-out girl who is tired of spreadsheets and has decided maybe she’s done enough planning. We will have a ceremony in a real church with a real priest, we have guaranteed there will be food, booze and music for the entire reception and we’re 98.5 percent sure all family members/wedding party attendants will show up clean, sober and on their best behavior. Everything else is just gravy.

Bri and I started a new spreadsheet in our Google doc of terror called “Current To-Do List,” which now houses all the random tasks we still need to handle. The most satisfying part of my day is using the strikethrough  to cross of completed items. Best. Thing. Ever.

I have learned some interesting tidbits while working through the to-do list:

• You know when the newly married couple jumps into a Rolls Royce or a horse and carriage (maybe more in New Orleans than in other places) and rides away from the church? That shit is expensive! I called Royal Carriages, what Google tells me is the only game in town, and the guy told me for 30 minutes it would be $325! Oh, but it includes a driver in a tux and a white carriage, so it’s cool. And it’s not even a horse pulling the carriage; it’s a mule. The classic car would be $485 for a two-hour minimum, so if we wanted to skip dinner and drive around town, it would be perfect.

• I can’t find anywhere in New Orleans that recycles wine bottles. The city has never been very green, but since the storm, it’s been really difficult to find recycling. The city doesn’t offer it yet, but Chuck and I have been using Phoenix Recycling at our place since I moved back. It’s been great, but recently it announced it can no longer accept glass because the Recycling Foundation of Baton Rouge can’t find markets for all the glass it takes in. I’ve been researching other recycling programs in NOLA but can’t find any that take green or brown glass (the Tulane glass studio will accept clear glass). I’m pretty sure we will be consuming a fair amount of wine at the reception, and I hate to throw bottles away. Does anyone know of an alternative option in the city?

• Good babysitters are hard to find when hardly any of your friends have children. We’ve sent out a few emails to the few friends who do have kids, asking for recommendations, but we haven’t had any luck so far. We need a couple of sitters who can handle 10+ chillen during the reception and help out with the nieces and nephews during the rehearsal dinner. If you know anyone who would be good,  I will buy you a bottle of wine or a jug of sangria, whichever you prefer.

• Enlisting help from family and friends is an awesome idea. Brian’s parents are organizing the rehearsal dinner at Mandina’s, my mom was a huge help in selecting the music and readings for the ceremony, my dad has been trying to dig us up a classic car through his automotive connections, Melia is pitching in on a bunch of mundane tasks I don’t feel like doing, Chuck is updating the RSVP list while I’m out of town (into categories of “people who love Gill” and “people who don’t love Gill”), Kaila is slaving away finishing my dress, the bridesmaids bought their bridesmaidy things months ago and are now focusing on keeping me relatively sane… And even more of our peeps will be bending over backwards to help us in the next few weeks. Much appreciated. Y’all are fabulous.

• Our pre-cana instructors are certifiable. Seriously. We’ve decided the lessons and their responses are less Catholic and more born-again Christian. Under no circumstances should any of you take pre-cana through Catholic Marriage Preparation, Inc. (and yes, that is the real name). Stay tuned for a post on our lessons covering contraception and why the Church trumps conscience and common sense.